When did the custom of marriage in the
bride's parish start?
Although this is a frequently asked question I was
not sure of the answer and turned to my bookshelf for
Colin Chapman's "Marriage Laws, Rites, Records
and Customs". It says that "In many parts
of the country it was the custom for the marriage
rite to be celebrated in the bride's home parish. In
some large parishes there could be several chapelries
a few miles apart to choose from; it was not uncommon
for the one furthest from the bride's house to be
chosen so giving the family an opportunity for a 'day
out'."
As I read this paragraph my eye strayed over the
rest of the chapter about the various customs, most
of which arose from pagan fertility rites and were
intended to bring happiness and prosperity to the
couple and the community by confusing or appeasing
witches and evil spirits. And, often without knowing
why, most modern couples still try to incorporate at
least some of these traditions - just in case.
Hence for good luck Cupid, son of Venus and god of
love, is depicted on wedding invitations and cards. A
horseshoe is shaped like a cow's horns through which
the moon's orb can be seen and symbolises Isis, the
Egyptian goddess of procreation and Universal Mother.
To bring good luck it is often carried by the bride
or attached to the back of the car. Hung over a door
it is also thought to protect the house from plague
and witches.
The bride's "bottom drawer" re-enacts
the dowry or bride price given by her father to the
groom as part of marriage-by-purchase arrangements
and her trousseau - little bundle - also originates
in the dowry. To confuse the spirits, the bridesmaids
dress like the bride and the best man, with his
supporters or ushers, like the groom. A canopy held
over the couple shielded them from danger from above
and is still used in Jewish weddings. The old adage,
"Something old, something new; something
borrowed, something blue" signifies the bride's
past life and her future as a married woman;
'borrowed' is for friends' future help and support
and blue is for loyalty. Noise disturbs evil spirits
so church bells were rung, gongs banged and trumpets
blown. Candles represent fire that eradicates evil
and keeps out witches: the bride's veil was therefore
yellow like a flame but today it is white for purity.
Also, the veil is apparently a symbol of her
submission and obedience to her husband - not a lot
of people know that...
The best man and his ushers represent the bands of
young men who participated in rape-marriage or
marriage by capture. The bride's father now gives her
away instead of selling or exchanging her for the
bride price.
The reception at a separate location is the result
of the seventeenth century Puritan attempt to
suppress the 'popish and heathen' behaviour of the
wedding party at the post-nuptial festivities in the
church itself. As this consisted mainly of copious
quantities of bride-ale or hot pots of brandy, ales,
sugar, eggs and spices there was a great deal of
drunkenness and ribaldry. This survives as the toasts
drunk to the bride and groom. Bridal-cakes of flour,
salt and water were distributed to the contracting
parties in Roman times. Later, small cakes with honey
and spices added were given to all the guests.
Today's cake is thought to be the invention of a
French chef to incorporate several small cakes under
a coating of marzipan and icing.
